Thursday, September 27, 2007

repetition repetition propinquity repetition

For the first time in 5 years, I'm grounded by a job in a certain place for a certain time doing a certain series of things.
And I love it.

I've missed the rhythms of normalcy in the years of free-lancing, getting another degree and working from home.
Those years allowed me to travel - for work and for fun - go the beach (alot), spend an increased amount time with my sassy-pants grandmother and generally thumb my nose at The Man, but I can't help but relish the experience of expecting certain things and having those things happen.

I have settled into more solid routine than I've ever had before, and even the things I'm doing have an element of rhythm and repetition, such as swimming and knitting.

Other than work, the thing that's been most erratic in my life in the past few years has been the masculine element, and I wonder if I've courted it.

Since I was rarely consistant in my own life, I think I may have given a bit more room for inconsistancy in men, which is fine... in theory.

What I've learned (or what I think I think I've learned) is that if you give a man an inch for inconsistancy, he'll take 26.2 miles. But slowly, at an increasing pace and in such a way that, like the proverbial camel in the proverbial tent, he'll nose his way bit by bit into completely disrespectful asshole.

So now, after 5 years of consistant inconsistancy, I want to be allowed to both have expectations and have them met more often than not.

Now that I've found a rhythm, I'd like to find some propinquity.

In the meantime, work swim eat knit read sleep work social bills sleep work swim knit clean cook sleep...

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