My first knit design!

In honor of his birthday, I decided to knit something for the Physicist.

A scary proposition since there is a bit of lore warning against knitting for your sweetie. I rarely give creed to such bits of irrationality (ok, I pick and choose - highly irrational, isn't it).

Anyway, the Sweater Curse.

But I did the math: our time together + his birthday = it's ok to make a hat.

But it had to be the perfect hat.

A nod to science whilst being abstract enough for aesthetics.
Electromagnetism? Wind energy?
Eventually, I landed on radio astronomy - the subject of his PhD.

It couldn't be itchy at all - and the colors had to be perfect.

I designed and knit on the fly... starting with a mini VLA.

The dome was divided into quarters - I looked long for a good image that would be translatable in knitting - I found and used this image as a foundation (adding some larger shapes to represent galaxies, nebulae, etc...). I think it worked out very well.

**********Drum roll**************

I give you, the VLA Hat!

In progress... (look at all those happy radio telescopes gathering emissions...)


FINISHED!


View from the top...


And to personalize it, I added his initials and year...


I gave it to him last night and it was truly well-received.

Phew!

Not so bad...

In the weeks leading up to the departure of the Physicist, I was nervous about how our interactions would withstand the addition of 400 miles between.

Happily, it's been better than I normally would have let myself imagine.

It's been a good year for me and optimism, or at least me and my ability to manage uncertainty.

A year ago, uncertainty was the norm and many things were perceived as having a high probability of ending badly. Admittedly, I had surrounded myself with an environment that did not always support things that could result in calm and comfort. But I learned my lessons well.

I learned to expect more from people.
I learned that if I ask for something, I may actually get it.
I learned that if you don't allow yourself to be worthy of time and energy from others, you likely won't receive it.
And I learned that some people are just plain broken and awful - and it's best to acknowledge that and move on.

Having done that, I now have irrefutable proof that there can be a cup of tea at the end of the day followed by the secure feeling that even a drastic change is really no change at all.

To be continued...

Today the Physicist and I walked the almost-new-owner (final papers to be signed) through the charmed house - showing off the good, the needs-to-be-fixed and the quirks.
Where to hang the hammock, how to refill the steam heat and when to stop the garage door so it doesn't make an awful racket.

I was a frequent visitor in the past year, but it wasn't until the house was ready for movers that my emotional connection to the house (and its inhabitant) became almost too much to bear. I was honored to be included in that final walk through.

We took our final pictures in front of the house and said our final good-byes to the brick and mortar that was so much more than the sum of its parts. It was late Saturday mornings, picnics in the grass, tinkering in the garage - the place I went when I needed to be alone with company and a hot cup of tea.

Following this, I drove him to the airport to catch his flight to IL, where he begins a new position on Monday. He was, unsurprisingly and lacking the anxiety I would have felt, late for his flight. But he transferred the ticket and settled in with a book on the iPod. I hope to learn how to be so legitimately at ease with change.

It will be January before I see him again, as the new role has him traveling and he purchased tickets to return to India for a month prior to accepting the appointment.

I do not know what will come in the future, but for the first time - I think ever - I have entered into entirely uncharted territory, and I want only to see what the next leg holds - without needing to predict the whole of the journey.