A good day

Today is a good day.
I just got back from a long weekend in Erie County, visiting my grandmother, picking blueberries and lounging by my cousin's pool each evening.
The best news is that today I got an offer for the job that I have been hoping for.

For better or worse, I've placed a good deal of expectation on this new position.
It provides me the opportunity to switch from art to science.
It focuses my currently broad set of skills into ones that I am keen to hone.
Its (relatively) secure status means that I should be able to finalize my debts pretty much on schedule (March/April now, instead of January/February).
This opens up a whole new world to me.
And the experience of busting my ass to pay off debt makes me that much more hesitant to take on any more.

I feel a sense of freedom mixed in with a healthy dose of security that I haven't felt in a long time. I feel good about my ability to get on with the next phase of my life and grateful that I was able to find employment that - well - kinda changes everything about my career and the direction of my life.

So, today is a good day.

State of Stilgenblogger

I know that it's been very quiet around here. But it's been a cacophonous madhouse in my head.
2010 is now going to have title, "The Year of Loss" when I'm melancholy, "The Year of Change" when I'm optimistic.

A year ago, I could have sworn I was on a path to follow another person's necessitating moves - and I let my adaptability float to the surface and authentically committed to the notion of being the person who would find work where I needed to, assuming I would be ultimately protected by the inherent safety net of couplehood.

A year ago, my employer had, under the watchful eye of an amazing leader, transformed from an organization with a $300k deficit to one with a $11k surplus - there was no fear of downsizing.

But now...
Now I find myself lacking either security blanket.

I thought I had left this far behind, in the years before my masters degree.

I am better prepared to find work, but my interests have changed greatly.
No longer committed to the arts and culture sector, I feel far more inspired by research and design - emerging technologies and alternative energies, medicine and science and things with precise goals, objectives and outcomes (the playground of the grant proposal writer.)

One of the greatest defining things about me is that I am not a coward.
I have been told more than once that I "Suck marrow" - a statement which modesty rarely allows me to admit, but honesty forces me to acknowledge.

I take chances with my life and career, and my reward is sometimes not so rewarding.
I splash about in waters far deeper than I know how to swim in.
But my reward is knowing I tried.
The worst part about this tack is the righteous indignation.

I am far too keenly aware of how much security I have sacrificed in choosing to follow my whims.
And therefore I am easily frustrated by those I see choosing an "easier" path.
It's not right of me, but it's not wrong either.
It simply is.

Where I stand now is at a cross-roads.
I have sent out a slew of applications, mostly outside the Northeast Ohio region.
I am awaiting word on one position that would be ideal and local, but lacking that, there is a good chance my future lies outside the place I've called home for most of my life.

This is an exciting prospect, but frustrating as well, because I poured all my excess funds to pay off the debts I incurred from the last lay-off 8 years ago. I also closed my credit cards. Scary business, moving to a new city lacking a line of credit.

So maybe 2010 is "The Year of Living Dangerously" or "The Year I Removed my Training Wheels" or "The Year I Moved to _________."

Only time will tell.

In the meantime, I am spending time with friends and family. Reading quite a bit and swimming as much as I can - but also focusing my time on splashing in the deeper waters of my imagined new life in support of research.

I am doing pro-bono writing to strengthen my portfolio, and volunteering for a sustainability office in town.

But mostly, trying very hard not to allow one imagined reality to win out over the others, as I know how much it hurts to see those home movies melt in the projector and fade to black.

Late summer knitting

Hurrah for late summer and early fall!

I have been a happily knitting girl in the past month - starting a new project called Traveling Woman Shawl or Kelleys Island Traveller (since I worked on the majority of it there while on vacation). I love the small shawls all over Ravelry and this one was free, simple and a great way to show off the yarn.



Ahhh, the yarn.
Let's contemplate the yarn for a moment, shall we...

I bought the yarn - Malabrigo sock yarn - without a project in mind (this was also before I fell prey to buying yarn for the sake of schmooshy and pretty.) And the colors remind me of Lake Erie right before a storm... but it also brings to mind those lovely faded hydrangeas you see in September.


The work in progress...


I also finished my albatross - a scarf I knitted up for a friend with his logo. It was wide, so it needed to be long - I began it in March and grew it over summer - finally harvesting in September for the cool days ahead.


And I finished a middy sweater for the wee man - he wore it on the sunset ride we chartered around Kelleys. He's become terribly charming in the past few months - which just makes me want to knit him more and more and more cozy things to snuggle up with.
I fear he will develop an aversion to wool! (There's always silk and cotton - heh.)



I am currently re-working the sleeves on the honeycomb sweater, and I just began some hats for my college roommate's children (very colorful and stripey - will share soon) and I realized my Noro should be a sweater, not a Clapotis, so I need to buy some navy worsted to bring out the pinks and greens and pale blues of that colorway... pics and updates to come!

Weekend

On Sat'y we installed a hitch on my car so I may tow the boat - it was supposed to take 30 minutes, but instead took 10 hours and 30 minutes, because they sent the wrong bolts with it.

But now I can install a hitch on a car!

We (rather, the Physicist) played with the trailer winch that had rusted - I hadn't realized the importance of this. Apparently, as it was, if I went up a hill, the boat could have slid off the trailer and the winch would not have stopped it.

Whoops.

But we're that much closer to launching the boat - the goal is Labor Day weekend...

On Sun'y, I had the unique experience of teaching my parents to use their new computer.
Neither have used one before.
It's amazing how vast and subtle the skills required to use a computer are - from manipulating the mouse to intuitively understanding how to navigate a web page to the vocabulary: email, Gmail, scroll down, click, cursor, etc...
Today's xkcd was terribly topical to this issue.
We went through the process of powering it on and off no less than 6 times - and I am proud to boast that I got an email this morning, which meant they remembered how to do it.

My little birds have learned to fly!!! *sniff*

Cotton and paper and (of course) yarn, too.

I've been having a gloriously fun summer: rowboats and gardens and swimming and meteor showers and lying idle in the grass.

I saw a good friend last weekend and she had a project: origami. I've not done much of that before (and neither had she) so we figured it out together and made a mobile of dotty cranes in lovely colors.

I discovered that it was a gateway to a new feverish obsession with polyhedra and other vaguely mathematical objects that are truly pleasing to behold.

I recalled this pattern in Last Minute Patchwork + Quilted Projects and got to work. True to it's place in the book, it took about 4 hours.

I used fabric scraps appropriate for a charming lad about to turn 1: a men's shirt, some butterfly fabric and the wee monkeys I wish I had more of.



I shan't bore you with the details of making it other than Hulu now has episodes of "My So-Called Life" and they make a very good background for pinning and stuffing...


Pin and stuff and stuff and pin...



Ta-Da!!!







BONUS~

I finished a hat I made for my father. I scored a 1/2 price ball of alpaca/merino/silk in blues and greys. Perfect for a maritime watchcap and easy-peasy.

And now, for some yummy yarn...

A washable wool natty nautical sweater for the wee man.



A delicious (but slightly bank-breaking) silk merino blend from Cherry Tree Hill - it was a purely speculative and emotional purchase. Those colors are divine... I have no idea what this will become...



Some Noro Silk Garden bought on Etsy as DESTASH... highway robbery, I tell you. Queued to become the ubiquitous Clapotis.



Have you met my swift? (I forget).
I love my swift beyond measure.



Lastly, some Malibrigo sock yarn destined to become...??? (Suggestions appreciated)

A short stay in Michigan

This weekend I went on short (but highly enjoyable) mini-break in Michigan.

The Steam Railroading Institute in Owosso was holding its first Steam Fest - which is one of those odd things that you find out about in 1 of 2 ways:
1: You are - or are related to - those who actively seek out steam engines (I fall into the category of the latter - although having been acclimated to the sound of a steam whistle by age 8, I was just as likely to yell "Steam engine!" knowing full well I'd be hastily tossed into the car to chase it as far as we could.)
2: You went to college with the person who coordinated the event and can't escape its presence on Facebook.

I fall into both categories, actually.

It was a bit of a last minute decision to attend, and because the event was in a smallish town with accommodations sold out in a 50 mile radius, Ann Arbor was the city of choice.

We stayed at a wonderful B&B called Vitosha - The bike at the door was indicator enough that I would enjoy my stay...



The room had a view of the courtyard from the charming veranda...



We reached the festival and were quickly swept up in the sights, sounds, & smells of steam...









After we got our bearings - we took a short excursion that was pulled first by a diesel - then back by a small steam engine.

Of course, we had tea...





I think I may be returning for a fall excursion with my parents - once lured by the siren song of a steam whistle, it's difficult to escape it's grasp.

An iPod case and the socks I gave to Jeezus

First, the iPod case...

The Physicist introduced me to TED talks online and the first one we watched was Brian Greene. In March, we were lucky to attend, FOR FREE, a talk given by Dr. Greene at Oberlin. At dinner, the Physicist used a napkin to teach me about gravity. I am not very mathematical, but I love the notations, so I kept them.

After receiving the Touch, I wanted to make a case for it and realized the notated napkin was a similar size and decided to embroider the notes on old linen scrap... First I used the sewing machine to make the notebook lines, then I embroidered the notations by hand after copying them on the fabric.



The back and inside were made from a man's shirt I bought at Unique Thrift to make pants for the wee man Lance. I used the cuff to make a closure.



Now I always have gravity close at hand.


***
The socks I gave to Jeezus is another story all together.

I'm having difficulty uploading a large picture of them, but know this - somewhere between a garage sale in Shaker and a weekend in Lyndhurst they DISAPPEARED.

Gone.

Along with my Schrodinger Bag.
Addi needles.
Gingher sewing scissors.
Not to mention an almost completed pair of two-at-a-time toe-up striped knee socks.

Le sigh.

So I just decided after searching for a weekend to "Give 'em to Jeezus."

And so they are now the socks I gave to Jeezus.

I just started a new pair... let's hope they don't meet the same fate.

Non sequiturs

I ordered a wooden swift and it arrived today!
I went to the doctors for a script to stop the spread of the Poison Ivy I caught on Sat'y.
I got a Tetnus shot, too.
I caught it on a program to clear a trail for Nat'l Trail Day - I sawed many fallen trees by hand.
And peed in the woods.
No I did not get Poison Ivy down there.
I renewed my driver's license and I think it looks like a Japanese candy wrapper - or that it was designed by a 12 year old girl - or that it was designed by a 12 year old Japanese girl who was thinking of candy.
Seriously, it's pink.
With like 5 holograms: birds and flags and states.
I ate baby spinach from my garden.
Strawberries, too.
The Physicist took me to dinner for my birthday.
And gave me an iPod Touch.
Loaded with music and Apps.
But to add more or sync it to my computer, I think I have to erase what he put on.
That can wait.
For a while, anyway.
I can't bear to erase such a thoughtful act.

Birthday nightgown

I finished my nightgown today.
Perfect for lazing about on warm mornings, reading the Times and drinking iced tea...



The yarn is new, but the linen is an old sheet and the buttons are from my grandmother's jar of buttons collected over many, many years.


A single button at the bust...



I lined the inside of the knitting with light blue satin...

(note wee, delicious buttons at the back)





The final piece of this will be a pair of knit boy-shorts that uses the same lace scalloping at the legs.

Happy birthday, indeed.

Perpetual de-accessioning machine

The recent de-accessioning has taken on a life of its own!

I find that I get almost the same thrill finding a new home for my things as I did in their initial acquirement.

I composed a list of things that went out my door the last few evenings...

* locker
* piano stool
* stainless steel shelf unit
* ostrich egg
* steer pelvis
* Framed 19th century photographs of Cairo scenes
* A direct current medical quackery device I forgot I owned
* beaded purse from the 30s
* collection of late 19th/early 20th century items using Orientalism to market products
* Day of the Dead mask
* side table
* mirror
* bow (no arrows)
* random bits and pieces I can't recall

I tried to get my friend to take my rugs, but alas, he is limited by space - I suppose it's good - they could be laid about to make any dry bit of land a home. Draped over rope tied between two trees, it could make a lovely tent.

I hope to have another friend over soon to take more - we share a similar aesthetic and strong need for all things fossilized, magic carpets and a general appreciation of my Wunderkammer.

Someone asked me about this process - the why and wherefores, and I described it as an act of love to myself to release my bonds to so many of these things.

With each item removed, I feel I've sent a part of my old self out into the world and new piece regenerates in its place that is more reflective of who I am now. Each thing is like a mooring line and with each gifting, I come a little closer to freedom - I'm not sure what freedom means or holds, but it seems to be goal I'm actively working towards.

A bit of a grand statement, but quite true.

Last night I set out a mirror and a chalkboard - a woman got out of her car and asked if she could have them - each item she took urged me to bring down more - and she left with 2 mirrors, a table, a chair, a chalkboard and a box filled with this and that.

It's as if I'm giving the no-longer-necessary parts of me up for adoption, and am warmed when I feel they've found a loving home...

Early Summer Knits 2009

I've been decidedly not online - or even much in the house - lately.

A few weekends with my parents, my grandmother, biking and some playing in the community garden (I had fresh strawberries with lunch today!)

Actually lots of gardening - I learned to shape boxwood and privet hedge with my father, planted annuals and fought a good fight against their rhododendrons.

I also started a few summer knit projects - I can't begin to describe my love for the cotton cami I finished - I wear it almost every evening and want at least 20 more.

So... I stopped at French Creek Fiber Arts in Avon and picked up some delicious cotton yarn the color of French Lilac... only 3 skeins, but enough to make something delicate and lacy... so I flipped through my books and decided on a piece with a knitted bodice and sewn skirt. I chose white linen for the skirting, hoping it will rumple in a perfectly imperfect manner.

Unlike most knitted pieces, the pattern calls for interfacing on these to hold the shape and provide some modicum of modesty (and support, it seems). I still have to make the piece that these attach to, and then I get to play with the fabric.



For kicks, I decided to line them with pale blue satin.
Decadent, no?



Now that I've got a little something started for warm summer evenings, I needed a good sailing jumper... made of cheap acrylic (i.e. "of dinosaurs") from Stephanie Japel's basic raglan recipe - I actually swatched this and am making it to measure!

Vacation Project (Part I)

So last week was my first week-long vacation in three years.
I stayed at my uncle's cabin on Kelleys Island - three days alone and the rest of the week with my parents since dad starts chemo in a week.

Nineteen years ago, he was into basket-making, and got charmed by Nantucket Lightship Baskets.
He made his first baskets while on vacation at the cabin, and I told him I wanted to learn how (on an island - it only seemed natural).

We started the weekend before I left, ordering supplies, digging out the molds and making the bottoms and ears.

Making the basket bottom


Before you start, you have to whittle down the ribs... he remembered that last time he built a jig and did it on an electric sander... this time all hand done.

Shaping the ribs


So here are the finished ribs, in one of his original baskets, with the mold in the background.



Once the tips are shaped, you soak them and place in a groove in the bottom. We kind of free-handed this, but it turned out well. Then you have to secure the bottom and ribs to the mold... very nitsy work.

Ribs secured to mold


Finally, you have to bend the ribs (while keeping them wet... and evenly spaced... and in the groove) and secure with a band to let them dry to the shape of the mold.

Molding the ribs


More in the next post, Blogger seems to have a photo limit...

Vacation Project (Part II)

So where were we?

Baskets. Yes.

So we started weaving the basket.
Again, nitsy work.
You have to whittle down the end and get it secured in the groove with the ribs... lots of detailed, swear-inducing work (at least for my dad).

The first couple of rows are tense, trying to get them woven tightly, making sure the ribs stay in the groove, keeping the damn thing damp and working with a 36" piece of cane that tends to twist and break.

Starting to weave


Weaving went fairly quickly, he'd weave while I went swimming or for a bike ride, I'd weave while he read or took a nap. It was done before we knew it!

Almost done


We got it off the mold and attached the rim to keep its shape. And then...

TRAGEDY!

The next morning my father picked up the dry basket and POP - the bottom fell out!



My theory is that the ribs got loose around the mold, so we were weaving the whole thing 1/4" larger, which was fine when the basket was wet and the wood was expanded (I'm really stifling the urge to make a shrinkage joke here - come on! WET WOOD GETS LARGER??? Who can resist!)

Anyway, when the wood dried, the rim, approximately 1/4" larger than the mold, pulled the ribs out of the groove.

My solution (after rending my clothes and gnashing my teeth) was to create a new bottom, about 1/4" LARGER and instead of a groove, split that thing in two, put it in place and glue it together.

I'll let you know how it turns out.

Dinner Party

Last Friday I took a day off to spend at the beach with a friend recently got married.
This is important for two reasons.
Reason 1: she has a completely tricked out kitchen thanks to showers, etc...
Reason 2: they were going to go to French Laundry on their honeymoon in Napa, but since the menu is prix fixe, and you have to get reservations 3 months in advance, and you have no idea what will be on the menu, and each time they saw the menu, half of it was something they couldn't (or didn't want to) eat - they didn't go.

It just so happens that I recently bought the French Laundry cookbook... so between the luxury of the day off and the urge to whip up something wonderful to share, the dinner party was the natural outcome.

Unfortunately, yours truly didn't charge her camera batteries... so no prep pictures exist, however, one of the guests was kind enough to take some presentation pictures and they are posted on his blog. Thank goodness for friendly bloggers.

Ok, so the French Laundry cookbook seemed a bit daunting in reality, so I just did one recipe from it, but throughout the book, he shares the philosophy of trying small bites and multiple courses with good raw materials. So it was more notional than literal. B has quite a wine collection, so each course was paired with a bottle suited to the menu.

The menu.
Appetizer Course
Crudites.
Homemade boursin and fresh bread.
Bacon and Eggs

Soup Course
Spring Green Soup: made with fresh asparagus, cucumbers, spinach, lemon and mint.

Salad Course
"Pigs and Figs" Salad.

Main Course
Charcuterie: Slovenian sausage, Dortmunder weisswurst, Garlic weisswurst & Smoked keilbasa, Wild mushroom and veal terrine.
Cheese Plate: 5-county cheddar, Drunken goat, 4-year cheddar, Camembert, The best blue cheese ever.
Olives
Bread

Dessert Course
Raspberries in Chardonnay Jelly.

This was honestly the best dinner party I've been to in a while. It was fairly laid back and featured dancing to early-90s rap following the dinner.

I mean, what goes better with wine and food and friends than Biz Markie and Positive K?

Plus, it had the added ease of pre-prepped aspects...
D and I made the terrine and dessert on Thursday night so we could enjoy the beach.
After sun and sand, we went to the West Side Market and spent a good 30 minutes with a fellow at The Cheese Shop who graciously had a tasting with us and took time to help us create the cheese plate.

Overall, it was a great start to a packed weekend.

Next time, I'll attempt more recipes from the cookbook...

Cupcakes!

My oldest friend -
the one who I met when I was 10
the one who jumped across the fountain even after I jumped and skinned my knees and broke my glasses
the one who I essentially treat as a sister -
is having a baby soon.

Which is at the same time totally sensical and insane at the same time.
My first reaction when I hear a peer of mine is expecting is "Oh crap! Do her parents know? Is she going to have to skip prom/take a semester off?" and then I remember that I'm a grown-ass woman and pregnancy has undergone the change from dreaded situation that sends everything off course to a wanted condition that one now "tries for."

That said, I couldn't be happier to be an auntie and have been knitting up a storm for the Little Perk.
Last Sunday was the shower, and I used the opportunity to bake a cake from scratch - something I've never done.

It went over well, as evidenced by the slice I was able to sneak out before it was all gone.



I really liked this recipe and had some buttermilk and lemons left over, so I decided to make a batch of cupcakes for office, friends & parents.

I'm trying to get into the habit of prepping with mise en place before each recipe, and this one was so winsome that I decided to share (Note usage of new, fab ceramic pieces.)



The frosting is a lovely cream cheese recipe, but I added almond extract in addition to vanilla, just to make it my own.
I also tried piping the frosting on the cupcakes, and I thought it was much easier (and led to better presentation).

All my little cupcakes lined up in delicious rows...

I told you I could make another cat...

Despite all the warnings from my parents to never ever get a long-haired cat, I adopted one that was motherless and o-so pretty.

See how pretty - how could I say no to that face?


I now fully understand the nature of their warning.

One summer, I did this to her.


She didn't really like that.

I used to joke that I could make another cat out of all her fur.
Yeah...

Jokes aren't so funny when they're true.